Tiger daughter shuns Tiger leaders

(Zoo-Paa hurt at not being invited; some Canadian Tamil Congress men may be attending the party. Anton Balasingam told not to give press interviews regarding the party for security reasons. Dirty Sethu may represent the father at the function but Irish immigration clearance for him is very much in doubt).

Duwaraha is going to celebrate her 20th birthday in grand style in Ireland. A handpicked group of VIPS, whoever that may be and certainly not Eric Solheim, have been invited. Security factors are so demanding and tough, the poor old father, who is not even safe in the Wanni Bandit Zone, will not be attending it. There is also the question of transport from Wanni wilds to the Irish greens in far off lands; via Maldive Islands is considered too risky.

It is generally agreed that it will be a party Ireland has not seen since the Middle Ages. Duwaraha’s brother Charles Anthony, not named after Anton Balasingam, will also grace the occasion. The preparations are quite hush-hush and security is in full gear because Karuna Amman has indicated a desire to be present and bless the 20-year old whose nappies he changed when she was in Wanni.

What is disturbing most Tiger bigwigs, particularly Zoo-Paa is that Duwaraha’s mother Mathivathani has placed her two feet firmly on the ground and said quite categorically that no Tiger, two-footed or even four-footed, British, Canadian, Wannian, Australian or anywhere would be welcome to the party. Zoo-Paa was quite hurt. He wanted to collect some Irish terror material, literature and weapons, under the pretext of attending the birthday bash.

Of course the literature would be beyond him but Anton Balasingam has assured him of his services provided he keeps the razor away.
There will be no limitation on the spending for the party. Bags of gold are expected to be delivered to Mathivathani by the Irish leprechauns.

These tiny men seem so pleased with the presence of the First Lady of the Republic-to-be Wanni-Eelam State in their neighbourhood but as to where they got the gold is a great mystery.
Since some Canadian Tamil Congress men including Dr Poopalapillai, wanted in Batticaloa by his alien smuggler clients, are missing from Toronto, there are rumours they took an Irish Airways flight recently and perhaps a bit of loot too with them for the birthday function.

Catering for the party will be exclusively done by Toronto’s Babu Catering who are believed to have chartered a Ryan Airways B737 to carry the food and drinks across to Ireland. It is believed to be a gift from Babu Catering.

They will also be providing drinks in the traditional “Thanneer Pandal” (water tent) fashion for all demonstrations against the Government of Canada whatever the issue is taken up by the undercover LTTE in Toronto. They want to bring Harper down and get Karygyannis as the new Prime Minister of Canada.

It is believed a number of Liberal Party members were sounded about being invited for the birthday party with seats made available to them on Ryan Air but they have turned them down with the exception of a Scarborough member.

Two priests from Pungudutivu will conduct the ritual ceremonies, both Karate doctors now serving in Scarborough.

(Catapult Thangavelu will be covering the birthday party and for this purpose, he has hired a helicopter to take aerial photographs and make air to ground reconnaissance of the event.)

Stop flirting with the CFA; UNP take note

UNP talks about strengthening the CFA, a dead letter that has putrefied beyond resurrection. Tissa Attanayake, the Assistant Secretary of the UNP seems very pleased that this is a possibility. He goes further and says that Sri Lanka’s future depends only on safeguarding the CFA, which in effect was a highly treasonable act of his party when it was in government.

And it seems this was his reaction to inquiries made by Norway, evidently a country accepted in spirit as the new colonial masters of Sri Lanka – Sudha Adoration Symptom (SAS)! Making statements of this nature – irresponsible and utterly stupid – is akin to the aberrations of the barbershop apprentice Zoo-Paa whose educational level was virtually minimum to be able to read Tamil alphabets and his intellectual capacity even worse. He began with the razor and graduated to the pistol and his mindset is murder and mayhem.

It is these very people the CFA brought to the forefront. Tissa Attanayake seems unable to understand that the crisis involves the people of Sri Lanka, the Sinhalese, Tamils and Muslims. The CFA is related to a terrorist outfit that has nothing to do with any of these communities. It is a Law and Order problem.

The only way the crisis in Sri Lanka can be sorted out is to proscribe the LTTE and as for the ethnic crisis, implement the Gandhi-Jayawardene Accord of 1987. The majority community seems unable to understand and appreciate basic human rights that should be enjoyed by every citizen without exception.

Why is it so troublesome for some people in the south to appreciate the reality, the Tamils too having the same rights to be equal citizens of the country? It is this adamant racial and chauvinistic attitude that enabled a terrorist outfit to plague the country. Today every nook and corner of Sri Lanka has been endangered by the activities of the LTTE. -Satchi Sithananthan

A ray of hope as LTTE agrees to Oslo talks

The LTTE yesterday formally announced it would take part in the upcoming Oslo talks on the safety of the SLMM monitors in Sri Lanka in what would be the first time the government and the rebels sit at the negotiating table since the February Geneva talks.

LTTE media spokesman Daya Master said the LTTE had already conveyed its decision to the Norwegian peace facilitators having considered the SLMM’s request made to the LTTE on Saturday.

The government however said it was still considering the Norwegian invitation for the June 8 and 9 meeting which would be attended by the Nordic countries whose representatives make up the SLMM.

"The Norwegian invitation is still under careful consideration. If the two-day meeting goes ahead as scheduled it will most likely focus on all aspects of the SLMM functions including their safety and security," government peace secretariat Deputy Head Ketheesh Loganathan told the Daily Mirror.

Daya Master said the LTTE was now awaiting transport and security guarantees for its delegates who would attend the two-day talks and to finalize travel plans to Oslo via the Bandaranaike International airport.

"Mr. Thamilselvan had informed the Norwegians we will attend the two-day talks following the request put forward to us on Saturday. Although Mr. Thamilselvan earlier said we need time to think about the invitation, we are keen to go to Oslo anyway," Daya Master said.

Norwegian special peace envoy Jon Hanssen-Bauer put forward the invitation for the Oslo talks to the LTTE when he met Mr. Thamilselvan on Saturday while Minister Erik Solheim invited the government for these talks.

SLMM head Ulf Henrikson earlier discussed the concerns of the ceasefire monitors when he met the Norwegian facilitators and the contributing countries in Oslo recently.

The SLMM was also considering the feasibility of increasing the number of monitors on the ground in an environment of escalating violence which was at its worst since the ceasefire agreement was signed in 2002.Meanwhile sea monitoring remains suspended after an LTTE attack on the navy threatened the lives of two SLMM monitors who were aboard two navy vessels at the time.

The SLMM had submitted some requirements to both the government and the LTTE if sea monitoring was to be resumed.

While the LTTE had responded to the SLMM requirements Mr. Loganathan said the government’s response might be taken up at the Oslo meeting if it was held as scheduled.

The government and the LTTE have not sat down at the same table since the February Geneva talks with the much-awaited second round of discussions still on hold and the violence on the ground showing little sign of abating. -Daily Mirror-By Easwaran Rutnam